Breaking news!  Here it is... just what you've all been waiting for... the full glory of Herman Claude Wintringham's HAIR:

The media is such ridiculous shite. Why does anyone believe what they print?

Do you know how long it takes to manually restring and retune 48 strings on three different lutes?

Four hours.

That's a lot of strings, mates.  My fingers hurt.

I haven't even packed yet, either.

All I want for Christmas is: _________________ !

(Complete the sentence!)

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!
[If you wave your wand over this, you can hear Herman singing and playing along to this song, just replace "your" with "my".]

PARTY. TONIGHT. OUR FLAT.

BRING FOOD. AND ALCOHOL.

AND YOU HAVE TO WEAR A COOL HAT.

THEM'S THE RULES.

Two more sleeps!

My birthday is Thursday!

And unlike some people who shall remain nameless but their initials start with Heathcote Barbary, I will not shite on other people's birthdays.

We should celebrate.

Um.

I think I may have lost my second favorite hat.

And, er, by "may have lost" I mean it caught fire.

Does anyone know where to buy good hats?

( Herman Wintringham! )

( Herman's Instruments! )